Surrendering to the Power of Ecstatic Love

Following is an experience I had after a particularly deep meditation process.

I was in a particularly open state of mind-body and I decided to continue with my meditations. I began by breathing into, and expanding, my heart space. I opened myself to the profound love that I discovered there in that moment. With my voice, I began to intone the vibrations I felt moving through my body, and the love began to envelop me. I could feel it in the tips of my toes, in my kneecaps, and in the hairs on my arms. At this point, in order to really engage with the love, I focussed on a person for whom my love is strongest, and I allowed my heart to open to the feeling. I felt immediately connected, and instantly a powerful image of a stone archway appeared in my mind.

This vision had a particular quality that I recognised – it felt very real and as though I was looking through someone else’s eyes. I knew that this was more of a ‘remote view’ than a usual vision. In this case I would call it ‘heartspeak’ – an experience of sharing wordless communication via the heart. It comes when the heart is completely open to love.

The details of the stone archway were very clear, they included round circles at the top, emblems or figures to the sides, and some trees and birds nearby. I stayed with this image for a while, entranced by the clarity of what I was seeing.

By the time I began the Merkaba meditation my chest had expanded in order to hold the very solid feeling of the love and light that now almost painfully filled me. I began the first six long slow breaths. Normally I would inhale for 7 seconds and exhale for 7 seconds. But this time, with my expanded heart, my inhales and exhales lasted 16 seconds each. That’s only two breaths per minute! After a while I realised there was even more capacity – I would get to 16 and then there would be a huge extra inhale, taking each one to 18 seconds.

When I eventually reached the 18th breath of the Merkaba meditation and released into the experience, I stopped breathing for what seemed like an impossible length of time! There was no pain and no urge to breathe. I felt my arms being drawn out to my sides so my body was in the shape of a cross. My heart felt so expansive with the enormous amount of energy that I could feel moving in and out of it. It was bright blue/white light that felt like all-encompassing love. My breath began again slowly. At this point my body began to vibrate. It continued for the next two hours while I experienced my visions.

They were so powerful that it felt as if my eyes were open and I was actually looking through them at something tangible and real. My ‘heartspeak’ this time was with the universal consciousness. I suddenly came face to face with the image of Jesus on the cross. As soon as I made eye contact he stood up in front of me. He was still holding the same shape of the cross with his outstretched arms – mirroring my shape exactly.

Next I was shown a cube which floated around in-between us, twisting and turning, and then it opened out and the six sides formed a cross. At this point my mind instantaneously brought together lots of pieces of information.

The cross is an ancient pre-Christian powerful symbol of sacred geometry – a cube that has been opened and laid flat. I was then shown how the Merkaba (a three dimensional, six pointed star) fits perfectly over the cross. Another name for the Merkaba is the ‘chariot of ascension’. It is a vehicle which enables the practitioner to ‘ascend’ to divine consciousness (or ‘heaven’) – that is, a consciousness that is free of fear based reactivity and based only on love.

The image of a human on a cross came well before the torturous Christian image was created. It symbolised a person as a perfect cross with their arms open to make space for the expansive love felt inside the Merkaba and, therefore, ready for ascension. The person didn’t die on this cross, but their ego/attachments did. In the Bible stories Jesus surrendered him ‘self’ and opened his heart to love all of humanity and so ascended to ‘heaven’. However, he didn’t go anywhere; he stayed in a tomb from which he resurrected on the third day as his divine self. This Bible story is secretly giving information (to those who know how to look for it) about how to ascend, how to become gods in our own right – open your heart to love, let go of fear, sacrifice the needs of the ego, trust, and surrender. The final piece of the process is to enter total darkness for 3 days – this will bring about one’s resurrection or rebirth.

At this point, I completely understood what was being asked of me. I surrendered myself to the cross that my body had created, and I released completely to love and trust. When this happened, and my heart opened completely, the feeling was of joy and grief combined – the power of this is immense and utterly ecstatic. My body simply released into gratitude as the light now flowed through every cell in my body.

When the visions, the ecstasy, and the vibrations of my body finally subsided, I gently reminded myself of where I was and opened my eyes. I felt amazing! I drew a very quick sketch of some of the shapes I saw earlier in my ‘remote view’ as I wanted to check this out with the person I had connected with. I have often found that when I am given information or experiences that are impossible to verify, I am also given something alongside that I can prove to be true. In some ways, this helps me believe in the ‘reality’ of a magickal experience.

That night I woke up from my deep sleep, realising that I was already in the process of repeating the sacred heart meditation. I watched as my mind automatically entered the Merkaba once again and, after the 18th breath, I was greeted by my ancient ‘family’ – the light beings. They had come to reconnect. They told me that after I had opened up the channels they found it easier to make contact. Once again my body vibrated and I felt their healing love spread through me. Finally, at 4am, I went back to sleep. I woke again at 8am feeling strong, alive, and full of energy.

Later that day, I asked my loved one where he had been at the time of my viewing. He told me that he had been walking up the Avenue des Champs-Élysées in Paris and looking at the Arc de Triomphe! See what you make of the pictures below – although I’m no artist, as you can probably tell.

My next step is to immerse myself in darkness for 3 days. Does anyone have a black box I can borrow?

© Lilith 2013